tube in a box


(Better safe than sorry. Don’t be a dummy)
So here’s the deal, you take care of me and I’ll take care of you. This is how…
First of all – I like to play outside so don’t try to get me to do anything that might be work (don’t even think about stuffing me inside of a tire). I’m not trying to be a jerk, but if you’re drowning I have no intention of saving your life, try calling 911 instead. Again, not to be rude, but I can be a little selective when it comes to the people I like to hang with. I’m fine with kids, but if you’re under the age of 8 stick to your water-wings for now (seriously I’m just looking out for you).
As a small tube (32”) tube, I dig folks who are between 50 – 120 lbs (it’s just a personality thing, sorry) but when I’m big (45”), then I’m more found of the 120 – 290 pounders. If you are more than 290 pounds, I apologize, but we can’t spend time together… it’s not YOU it’s me (I promise). Additionally, I don’t play well with drunks and druggies – – if that’s your thing, don’t do it around me – I’m not responsible for your actions, pal.
And well we are at it, being pulled behind a motorized vehicle is not what I call fun. I’m just not built for that PERIOD. Let’s keep things natural and gravity – powered please. When it comes to outdoor activities I can get pretty pumped, but let’s try to be reasonable – – if I look overblown then I probably AM – please spare us both the embarrassment and let some air out (you might want to hold your nose heeheeheehee). On the other hand, if I look deflated or depressed try to breathe some life (not with your lips).
Lastly – I know you won’t believe me – but I’m in need of regular check-ups. Let me put it this way; you take your pet to the vet, now again right? So why wouldn’t you check to make sure I am healthy as well? Besides, if your pet explodes you probably won’t get hurt…
Anyway, that’s it. Sorry for getting all “mom and dad” on you…
Now get outside and have some fun….